Things I have learned since moving abroad
Moving abroad may feel like an overwhelming, daunting and scary experience. The feeling of not knowing anyone, the anticipation of adjusting to a new lifestyle, culture and the fear of leaving everything that you have ever known behind. However, there are also many positives that come with moving abroad.
For me, moving abroad has been the best and hardest thing I have ever done. The best because it has made me a much stronger and open-minded person. The hardest because my parents are not part of my new life and physically missing out on seeing their grandchildren grow.
So what have I learned from moving abroad?
1. I CAN GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE
Moving abroad is challenging and it forces you to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Not only did I have to find my way around this new city, I had to adapt to a new culture and new way of living with two young children in tow. Although it may feel challenging to step out of your comfort zone your life will forever be enriched by the experiences and challenges you face while abroad.
2. I SUCK AT LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE
So three and a half years of living in Hong Kong and my Cantonese is still very limited. I don’t have any good excuses for not becoming more fluent in the language since I am exposed to the language on a daily basis. However, I am very proud of my daughter Jasmine, who with the help of her school is pretty much fluent in Cantonese. As for my little boy Jayden, he is a bit like me in that its taking him a little longer to learn the language but making progress.
3. MAKING NEW FRIENDS IS LIKE DATING
Trying to find real friends felt like when I would date guys to find the right one. Do we enjoy the same things? Do we have things in common? It was easy to make friends in general, especially as having young children meant I had at least one thing in common with the other parents I met. I would attend play dates, but to me these didn’t feel like real friends – you know the kind of friendships where you can really let go and be yourself and feel like they are not judging you. I find real friendships are hard to come by but are irreplaceable when I find them. Luckily, I have found a few friends now that I feel at total ease with and no matter where we are on this earth, we will always be friends.
4. LIVING ABROAD HAS CHANGED ME
Living abroad has changed my views, attitudes about things, the type of people I like to be around, my food tastes and hobbies, to name a few. It has been and continues to be an incredible adventure. I have come across so many different cultures, traditions and experiences that I may not have if still living in my home country . Coming from a small town, I was so accustomed to the views of how I was raised and my idea of ‘normal.’ However, moving abroad has made me open my eyes. The million small experiences collected while living in Hong Kong and doing everyday stuff in a different culture. The victories and the hardships have changed me. Travel expands your mind and your view of the world. I’ve become interested in things that before I’ve never considered, and I have lost interest in things that I loved prior to moving abroad.
5. I MISS THINGS
The hardest part of moving abroad is thinking of everything you will miss at home. All the birthdays and Christmases and all those pivotal family moments. I only physically miss these, luckily with technology, Facetime and Skype have kept me close to my family even though I am miles apart, and when I travel back home, the times that I have with family and friends really mean a lot.
6. I DON’T BELONG IN ONE PLACE
My home country does not feel like home, or a place I belong and Hong Kong does not feel like home, or a place I will stay. Who knows whether we’ll live here forever. All I know right now is that for me, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, to experience life in Hong Kong. I now have this constant desire to explore and learn and push myself to achieve new things.
7. SETTLING IN TAKES TIME
It’s wasn’t easy to feel happy and comfortable when I first moved to Hong Kong. . After the initial craziness and emotional high and lows wears off, I felt a bit lost for a while. It took me around a year to really settle in, get my children settled into a school, make some great friends, build a support network around me, and learn my way around the city. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to give yourself time to adjust. Enjoy the process and it will all happen when it’s meant to. Enjoy meeting different people who you may or may not keep in touch with.
8. PARENTING ABROAD COMES WITH ITS OWN HIGHS AND LOWS
Raising a family is hard but raising a family while living abroad has brought its own set of challenges. The constant worry of being a mom is multiplied by about a million because the normal worries of the health, education, safety and happiness of our children are amplified by the unknown factors.
Navigating my way through the local school system here is like someone trying to cross a extremely busy highway and not knowing which way to look. My limitations with the Cantonese language make it hard for me, I can’t read letters or reports from school, I do attend school events, because I don’t want my children thinking that they are the only ones with out a parent attending but for me I feel very isolated at not understanding the language.
In addition, I was the only Western woman in my community and at my children’s school for the first two years. More recently, I met another British mother living not too far away from our village and have become very good friends. Her son is also in the same class as my boy in Kindergarten, making the whole navigating my way through the local school system a little easier.
With all the highs and lows, at the end of the day we chose to raise our children here in Hong Kong, and give them the gift of knowing a larger world. As my children are learning and exploring this world, myself and my husband are doing the same.
